Colloquialisms, sayings, & Slang

Nem aqui nem lá na China! - Neither here nor in China!

A way of saying something is ridiculous or untrue. Eg. Someone offers you a food you've never tried.  You ask them what it tastes like and they say it's kinda sweet, but when you try it it's extremely bitter. Then you would say “isso não é doce nem aqui nem lá na China!” (this isn't sweet neither here nor in China!).

Nem que a vaca tussa (em Alemão)! - Not even if the cow coughs (in German)!

A somewhat equivalent exclamation to “in your dreams”. Can also mean “never ever in a million years” depending on the situation.